


Love yourself first

by Hyalin



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dogs make the world better, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of past Will/Natalie, Natalie is a bitch, Set after 4x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-13 16:51:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21179405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyalin/pseuds/Hyalin
Summary: Connor notices that Will seems happier and lighter than he's been lately. Not that you can blame the guy. After being held hostage, joining the Witness Protection Program on the day of his wedding and being dumped by his fiancee, Connor expected his friend to be moping and brooding and sending Manning puppy eyes across the ED.But he's not. And it makes Connor curious about his change of behaviour. Maybe he finally met someone who is worth of Will's love. And, despite feeling a little bit jealous about it, Connor feels happy for his friend. Will deserves it. But he would love nothing more to meet this mysterious woman, just to make sure that Will is not making the same mistake again.





	Love yourself first

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work at this fandom, but I've been watching the Chicago franchise since the beggining. And since the first appearance of Will I wanted to bundle him up and protect him against all evil, because look at his face! C'mon!  
That being said, I abhore Natalie's behaviour towards him since the beggining. Despite all his faults, you can't deny that he has a good heart. Connor says that himself!  
That ALSO being said, I always love Rhodestead. 
> 
> The inspiration for this work came from my own experiences with dogs. They are always there to cheer you up, no matter what. They don't care, they just want to show you some love back.  
That's why I thought Kol would be a huge help for Will when he was adopted. Sadly it seems the writers forgot about him already.
> 
> That was my way or portraying how things should go for Will with Kol's help.

Connor does not have qualms about working his shift at the ED when the situation calls for it, and they being down two doctors (Choi has a serious case of flu and Lanik was out in a medical convention for the weekend) is a very good reason to call for backup. He really doesn’t mind and, to be quite honest, he misses it. The rush, the different cases and, especially, the company. God, how Connor misses his fellow ED colleagues company! Maggie’s motherly care, Ethan’s quick responses, Monique’s bubbly demeanor, Will’s clever wit… He doesn’t have this kind of environment working for Latham. Not that Connor regrets anything since he has one of the greatest opportunities to work with the best cardiothoracic surgeon after Dr. Downey. Not to mention that he still performs surgeries in his hybrid OR - his pride - when they have serious cases, and that means he gets to see his old colleagues more often than not, but it’s not the same because they don’t have time to talk or catch up.

That doesn’t mean Connor’s not aware of the things that happens down there. He knows that Will and Manning got engaged - and he had to bury his jealousy and hurt pretty deep to congratulate his friend -, that things were rocky between Choi and April for the last couple of months and that after Will got out of Witness Protection, Manning dumped him. Of course Connor doesn’t know _ all _ the details, but he can’t avoid giving Natalie a cold shoulder after that. It’s clear as day how much Will loves her and, even with all the guy’s flaws, he was loyal to a fault. She will never find someone that looked at her like Will did. Like he does.

That was the only reason Connor dreaded the ED shift. Seeing Will looking at Manning like a puppy searching for love was equal parts annoying and painful. It was not his place to tell Will that Natalie wasn’t really worth it, but that may be his own heart speaking. It’s just so damn frustrating seeing Will mope and brood after her when there’s plenty of better options for him! But in the end, Connor swallows his jealousy and plasters a smile when he enters the ED after leaving his stuff in the doctor’s lounge.

“Good morning, sunshine! It’s always good to have you around,” Maggie greets him with that friendly smile of hers.

Connor only laughs and leans on the counter. “It’s always good to be here, Maggs, you know it.”

“Good morning, you two!” Natalie greets them with a smile that Connor tries to answer with an equal one, but it’s probably a bust.

Yeah, he may be able to hold a tiny grudge when the situation calls for it. And in his book, this calls for it.

Luckily Natalie does not point out his grimace or does not pay heed to it, but Maggie gives him a curious look. Either way, all of their attention is drawn to a certain redhead who rushes through them with long strides.

“Good morning, all! Sorry I’m late, I overslept… Again,” He says before entering the lounge to drop his things off without sparing a second glance to any of them. Huh.

Dori snorts while taking her patient’s chart. “Yeah, right. I think there’s another lady in the house,” She sing songs when she walks away.

Maggie scoffs, but Connor thinks he and Natalie are wearing the same troubled looks. Will having another woman in his life so soon could mean two things: he finally got over Manning or he was using someone to get over Manning. Either way, it was bad news because that’s simply not the guy that Will was. Okay, granted, what the redhead had with Nina was similar to ‘trying to get over Natalie’, but Will tried. At least it looked like it, especially when they’re all invited to his house warming party when the couple moved in together.

When Will gets out of the lounge again, he smile that thousand-watt grin of his at Connor. “Hey you. Mingling with us, lowly ED doctors?” He jokes while putting the stethoscope around his neck. Not a single glance to Natalie, who is quietly discussing a patient chart with the overnight doctor.

Connor is baffled and happy with this change of pace for Will. “What can I say? It’s closer to the coffee stand across the street,” The man jokes back.

“Ouch. Being traded for coffee can hurt a man’s pride, Rhodes.”

“You really think you had any chance?” Connor raises an eyebrow at Will’s second joke so soon.

“Eh, a man can dream,” Will’s brown eyes are warm and sparkling beautifully, making Connor ask himself again what kind of Wonder Woman the redhead finally found to get this kind of behaviour from him.

But this is soon forgotten when paramedics arrive with a car crash victim and Rhodes sole focus is on saving the victim. Will is also pulled to tend to his first patient of the morning and the rest of the day is pretty much the same: victims and patients and medical calls to make. Unfortunately, Connor doesn’t have the luxury of working with Will during the day, but he is _ dying _ \- no pun intended - to ask the redhead what made him so cheerful this morning. Considering, of course, that this is the first time that Will is this cheerful. Well, there’s only way to find out.

“Someone is in a good mood today,” Connor says absently to Maggie while getting the chart for his next patient and looking at Will, who is talking to April with a big smile on his face.

“Huh?” Maggie raises her head from the form she’s typing on the computer and follows his gaze. The nurse hums, putting her hands on her hips. “He’s being like this for a couple of weeks already.”

Connor whistles quietly, impressed. “Really? He and Natalie got back together?” That was the only reason Will could be this happy.

Maggie purses her lips and looks at Will with something close to sadness in her eyes. “No, I think that ship finally sunked. Poor guy,” She sighs, but Connor feels a mix of happiness and curiosity about Will’s recent demeanor.

“He doesn’t seem to bummed about it anymore, though,” The man points out, putting the chart under his arm. “This new woman must be something to make him act like this.”

“What woman?” Maggie raises her eyebrows. “Last I heard, he’s still single.”

“Doris seems pretty sure that there’s a new woman in his life,” Not that Connor takes whatever Doris says seriously, but he can’t deny that nurses know a lot more than they let on. Especially gossip.

Maggie purses her lips and hums thoughtfully. “He _ is _ arriving late more often than not for his shifts lately too,” She concedes and Connor’s heart squeezes a little, but the nurse looks him up and down suspiciously. “Why do you ask, Dr. Rhodes?” She’s clearly teasing him.

He clears his throat to hide his embarrassment. “Nothing, I’m just worried about him. You know, after everything that happened with the Witness Protection and… Stuff,” Connor gesticulates trying to encompass everything that Will went through.

Maggie’s eyes soften and she smiles. “Huh. Looking at you both now people would never believe that you’re worse than a married couple, fighting like cat and dog,” She jokes warmly, but the smile hardens and she points to the examination room behind her. “Now shoo, you have patients to attend to. You can ask the man out for a drink if you’re so worried about his love life.”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” Connor easily agrees, not wanting to anger the head nurse with more questions that she clearly didn’t have the answers to. But Maggie gave him a good idea. Inviting Will for drinks could be a perfect excuse to ask more about the mysterious woman under the pretext of catching up.

Connor is just typing his last patient diagnosis and treatment in the system for the overnight ED doctor when he sees Will hurrying inside the doctor’s lounge, clearly in a rush to get out. The man curses under his breath, reading again what he typed to make sure nothing was amiss before saving, closing the form and making a hasty retreat to the doctor’s lounge too. He tries to be a little more subtle upon opening the door, not wanting to look like an eager teenager, but he may have missed that by a mile, considering how Will jumps out of the way when he opens the door.

“Woah! Easy there,” He laughs and Connor feels butterflies in his belly when Will laughs like that. It makes him all warm and fuzzy inside and it’s been way too damn long since the last time he heard the redhead laugh like that.

“Sorry,” Connor breathes out and Will gestures for him to go inside. “I just wanted to make sure I catched you before you left,” He amends when he sees that Will is about to leave again, but that makes him stop in his tracks.

“You did? What’s up?” Will closes the door instead of leaving, looking at him with curious brown eyes.

Connor shrugs, trying to play cool when he knows he’s about to blush. “I was wondering if you wanted to go out for a drink. It’s been a long week and way too long since the last time we talked, man. You can even order the most expensive drink, my treat, I swear,” Connor smiles, trying to make the offer appealing enough - as if Will would ever say no to a drink with him.

Will rubs the back of his head, uncomfortable. “Rain check? I really need to go home.”

Rhodes can’t avoid his cheerful expression turn into a crestfallen one. “Oh, I see,” He clears his throat and tries to smile again. “Sure, of course. You must be tired. Rain check then?”

The redhead gives him an unreadable look before smiling warmly at Connor. “Tell you what, how about…” Will fumbles with his pockets until he whips his cellphone, punching a couple of buttons. “You meet me at this… Address,” He punches one last button before Connor feels his own phone vibrating in his scrubs pocket. “At 8… And you can buy me a cup of coffee? A really expensive one?” He jokes.

Connor is nodding before he can even notice. “Yeah, yeah, of course!”

“Great!” Will waves. “Hope you don’t mind me bringing someone to tag along!” And he leaves.

The other man is left dumbfounded, the happiness he felt before quickly draining to something akin to dread. So Will _ was _ dating someone this soon. That explained everything. The cheerful mood, the morning lateness, the desire to leave as soon as his shift ends… Even saying ‘no’ to drinks with Connor! Will never had denied a drink before! Okay, maybe once or twice when he was dating/engaged with Natalie and he wanted to spend the night with the woman, but Will always told him the reason. 

Today… He didn’t. Will wasn’t exactly secretive, but he wasn’t open about his night’s activities either.

Well, Connor would have to wait and meet this new woman in Will’s life, check for himself if she would be good for his precious friend.

* * *

Connor is not late - he’s actually five minutes early -, but he can see Will seated in one of the outside tables, which is kind of weird, because tonight’s quite crispy and Connor would prefer to be in a much warmer place.

The little cafe gives a cozy atmosphere with plenty of outside tables and inside ones as well. The outside tables and chairs have iron legs with polished wood tops and cushion seats (at least that, because Connor was not looking forward to freeze his ass off), plenty of little flower beds on the wall and the yellow lights gave a warm - almost romantic - atmosphere, despite the chilly night.

Will seems to be alone, except for a… Dog? Lying right there by his side, the leash tied to a hook underneath the iron table. He was quite fluffy, with caramel fur and seemed just happy to be outside, his tail thumping on the ground every time Will leaned in his direction to whisper something to him. Well, either way, maybe the new woman wasn’t really keen on going out with Will and Connor for a cup of coffee? Not a good sign, for sure.

When Will raises his eyes, he sees Connor and a huge smile split his face.

“Hey, man!” The redhead says, while getting up. The dog waves his tail and gets up as well, looking at Connor expectandly.

“Hey, uh…” Connor looks around, maybe thinking that the woman is inside ordering something or maybe using the restroom. Still, he thinks it’s best just to ask and end his curiosity. “Where’s your date?”

At that, Will seems confused. “Date?”

Now it’s Connor’s time to be confused. “Yeah? You said you’re going to bring someone to tag along.”

Will laughs heartily at that. “I did,” The redhead gestures to the dog beside him. “This is Kol.”

“Kol? Since when do you have a dog?” Connor raises his eyebrows, kneeling down and offering his hand for the dog to sniff him. Kol isn’t the shy type, already pushing his snout against his hand.

The other man’s smile dims a little. “You remember that nutjob that ran his truck through a cultural fair? Couple of months ago?”

Connor hums quietly, thinking about it. He remembers the young girl that he treated when the first wave of victims came in and even though he saved her life, she was declared brain dead when the CT scan showed a catastrophic bleeding in her brain. “Yeah… Kinda hard to forget.”

“Kol’s owner died that day too. He was an off duty police officer. I was just leaving when I saw one of his colleagues getting Kol to take him to the shelter. She said he was an older dog, so… I just couldn’t leave him there,” Will shrugs, sitting back on his chair.

“Huh,” Connor scratches Kol’s behind his ears, the dog’s tail waving happily with the treatment. “And you just decided to, what? Adopt him?”

At that, Will grins. “Can you say no to that face?”

“Good point,” Connor grunts when he gets up. “I’ll wash my hands, did you order something already?”

“Nope, I was waiting for you.”

For some reason, this simple sentence makes Connor’s chest fill with warmth. The doctor only nods quietly before entering the coffee shop to use the restroom first. When he gets back, there’s a brunette waitress talking quietly with Will, flirty smile and soft looks to the redhead. Connor is able to tamp down his jealousy though, smiling to the woman when he sits down on the chair opposite of Will. Kol huffs quietly at him, wagging his tail and the doctor needs to hold back the desire to run his hands over the fluffy fur again. Will’s right, it’s hard to say ‘no’ to that face.

“Hey,” The redhead smiles warmly, handling him the menu without sparing another glance to the waitress. “What’s gonna be?”

“What did you ordered?” Connor takes the menu, perusing his options.

Will only shrugs. “A large cappuccino and a grilled chicken sandwich. And some water for Kol.”

“So much for ordering something expensive, Halstead,” Connor jokes.

Another playful shrug. “Eh, I like to keep things simple when coffee and food is involved.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Connor handles the menu back to the waitress, who is looking at them with a much more professional smile. “Same for me.”

“It’ll be right up,” The girl chirps and goes inside.

“So-” “Sorry-”

They both speak at the same time and chuckle right after. Connor waves for Will to go first, crossing his arms on top of the table.

“Sorry for all of… This,” Will gestures to the empty tables - no one wanted to face Chicago’s chilly nights - and rubs the back of his head. “This is the only place open this late that accepts dogs as long as they behave and stay outside, so…”

“You could have told me about the dog, we could do a rain check for another night to catch up at Molly’s or anywhere else. Not that I mind the cold,” Connor shrugs, but it _ is _ quite cold outside. He hopes the coffee is good enough to keep him warm for another hour, though.

Will seems embarrassed at that, knowing that it is cold and inside is warmer and more cozy, but… “Kol doesn’t like to be alone too much. He still misses his owner and to be honest I don’t like to leave him alone either. He’s been through enough.”

Will’s good heart was never something that Connor questioned, and the proof was right there in front of him. Being a doctor and taking care of another dependant being after tiring and long shifts - sometimes even double ones - was something that Connor didn’t know if he himself was able to do. And seeing the redhead so devoted to this dog made him understand why Will was so… Happy and at ease with himself, even after everything that he went through.

“How is he coping?” Connor asks.

The redhead smiles tenderly at Kol. “He’s being a trooper. I pay one of my neighbor’s kid to walk with him the afternoons when I have my shifts and God forbid if I don’t walk him in the mornings and some nights,” Will chuckles. “Old my ass, he really fucking loves walking around the dog park near my apartment.”

The waitress comes back with their order on her tray and a dog bowl in the other hand. “Sorry to interrupt,” She chirps, setting everything on the table and the dog bowl on the ground near Kol, pouring the water for him. When she stands up, she smiles again. “Anything else?”

“I’m good,” Connor says and Will nods with his head, smiling at the waitress politely.

Will bites his sandwich, taking some of the grilled chicken between the bread and throwing it on the ground for Kol. “What about you?” He murmurs thickly after chewing a bit.

“Huh?” Connor raises his eyes after sipping his cappuccino.

“You were going to say something,” The redhead prompts, sipping his hot cappuccino too and shuddering with pleasure at the warm sensation.

Connor is a little transfixed with the vision of Will shuddering with something as simple as drinking coffee, but he shakes himself mentally and clears his throat before answering. “I just wanted to ask how you were doing. You know, after everything that happened with the Witness Protection, and… Stuff,” He doesn’t want to say Natalie’s name, but Will seems to notice his hesitation and simply smiles.

“I’m dealing with,” Will sips his coffee once more. Connor doesn’t seem convinced and the redhead is quick to reassure him. “I’m serious. I’m seeing a therapist once a week and Kol is being really helpful with other stuff.”

Now Rhodes is impressed. “Really?”

Will nods and looks down, sighing deeply and a little ashamed. “When they say that dogs are man's best friend, they weren’t kidding. Even with all my baggage and screw ups and faults, Kol still greets me at home as if I’m the most important person in the whole world for him. It’s just… I think I really needed someone to do that for me to put things in perspective, you know?”

Hearing that makes Connor a little angry at Manning. Will looked at her like she had hung the moon and stars! How could Natalie treat Will with less than what the man showed her? It was such a poor treatment that a _ dog _ was all that it took for Will to rethink everything about them as a couple. Well, despite being angry at her, Connor was also deeply grateful for Kol’s quick loyalty and endless love for his new owner. He was going to buy as many squeaky and expensive toys as possible for him, that’s for sure.

Before Connor could even stop himself, he was already blurting without thinking. “She didn’t deserved you, man.”

Big brown eyes blink owlishly at him. “What do you mean?”

Wincing, Connor tries to stall. He takes a big bite of his sandwich, chewing as slowly as possible. Will frowns, pretty mouth downwards and Rhodes knows that he needs to start talking… _ Now _.

“I know you are head over heels in love with Natalie, but man… If you could see the way you look at her all the time!” Connor fumbles with his napkin - and words -, trying to explain himself. But that only seems to anger and hurt Will more.

“I know I’m pathetic, Connor, you don’t have to throw salt over the wounds,” The redhead mumbles, clearly taking a big gulp of cappuccino so he could finish it quickly.

Rhodes shakes his head, panicking and dropping his sandwich back on the plate so he could gesture with his hands. “No, nonono, that’s not what I meant, Will,” He drops his hands on the table, clutching them together and looking down. “Look, I know this is none of my business, but Will, never _ once _ I saw Natalie look at you the same way you look at her,” Connor takes a deep breath and decides to let all the things he wanted to say out - or most of it. “You’re such a good guy, Will,” The redhead snorts at that, not quite believing it. “I _ mean it _, man! Despite your flaws, your heart is always in the right place!”

When Will stays quiet for almost a minute, Connor raises his eyes. The other man is clearly surprised, but his expression soon morphs into a pained smile. “Well, it wasn’t enough, it seems.” There’s such hurt underneath those words that Rhodes shakes his head vehemently.

“No, no way, this is _ not _ on you, Will. She’ll never find anyone that looks at her like you do. It’s her loss.” Connor shrugs. He shouldn’t take sides, but to be honest, Will is ten times more important to him than Manning and he’s not ashamed of admitting it.

Will’s smile is a little crooked, like he doesn’t really believe Connor, but the redhead nods either way. “Thanks, man.”

“Don’t mention it,” The man mumbles and they both go back to eat and drink coffee in silence.

Despite none of them saying anything, it’s obvious that neither wants to finish eating anytime soon - just the cappuccino, because no one deserves to drink it lukewarm of cold. Connor even signals the waitress for another cup and Will goes with him, sandwich almost gone, but not quite ready to call it a night. They talk meaningless stuff over sips of cappuccino, about work and football games, everything and nothing. Connor doesn’t even mind the cold night anymore, too busy just soaking Will’s presence. But they eventually have to leave, if not to go home and get some rest, then to let the cafe employees to do that - the waitress already dropped the bill a couple of minutes ago.

Halstead is the first to get up, not really meaning to, but one of them has to give the first step. “We should probably go. Tomorrow’s another day and you never know when things can get crazy at the ED,” He chuckles, Kol already standing at his side and wagging his tail.

“Yeah, yeah,” Connor agrees. He takes his wallet, leaves the money and tip under the bill, and walks with Will up to his car. “It’s cold. Do you want a lift?”

Will looks at Connor’s convertible with a raised eyebrow. “Kol is not really a lap dog, Connor, and I ain’t exactly small either.”

Shit, right. Still… “There’s enough space in the back seat. Not for an adult, sure, but I think that Kol’s gonna be fine. Besides, is only three blocks.”

The other man is still a little skeptical. “Kol’s gonna leave fur all over your car. And I heard that most dogs have car sickness if they don’t ride in the front seat.”

“I have leather seats, so…” He shrugs. “Besides, I can always pay someone to wash the car later, Will,” Connor rolls his eyes, gesturing to the Porsche. “Or you can try to fold yourself in the backseat if you prefer,” He jabs, smirking.

Will scoffs. “Asshole,” There’s no heat in his voice and the little smile betrays his light cuss. “But if Kol barfs, I’ll pay for the cleaning. The fur is on you, though,” The redhead chuckles, approaching the car.

“Why’s that?”

“So you have something to remember me by,” Will winks and Connor flushes a little, fumbling with his keys to open the passenger door.

After some maneuvering, they’re all set to go home. Connor drives a little more slowly than usual so Kol doesn’t get jarred too much - and no matter what he said, he’s not really keen in having dog puke all over his car because of the smell. Will seems to notice that, the asshole, if his trademark smirk is anything to go by. Rhodes squeezes the steering wheel, trying not to get baited by the mirthful grin, but is a lost battle.

“What’s so funny, Halstead?” Connor huffs, and he’s not pouting, not one bit.

“It’s pretty funny to see the mighty and manly Connor Rhodes driving an awesome Porsche like an old lady,” Will snorts and laughs. Kol agrees, because the little shit barks happily at his owner’s laugh.

Connor grumbles while he parks the car in front of Will’s apartment building. That only makes the redhead snickers. They both get out of the Porsche and Connor goes around the car so he can kneel again to rub Kol’s fluffy ears.

“You have no idea of the mess you got yourself into, buddy.”

Will shrugs. “Eh, how hard can it be taking care of a dog?”

Now it’s Connor’s time to smirk. “I was talking to Kol. Having you as owner? Man, this big boy has no idea what he got himself into.”

As usual, Halstead takes it in stride and laughs heartily, making Connor’s belly flutter with hundreds of butterflies. He missed this so damn much. For the last couple of months - if not the past year - Will looked so sad and heartbroken all the damn time! Even when he was engaged to Natalie it seemed that they had more bad days than good ones.

Rhodes gets up and, before he can even stop himself, he hears himself say: “I missed hearing you laugh…” It’s so soft that Connor hopes with all he has that Will didn’t heard that. God please, don’t make him screw this up.

But seeing Will’s surprised expression, just hoping wasn’t enough. Connor clears his throat and starts backpedalling to his car. “Yeah, so, uh… I’ll see you tomorrow,” He fumbles again with his car keys, turning his back on Will before the man can say anything else - and before he _ himself _ says another embarrassing thing.

“Why?” The question is quiet and soft, but full of confusion.

The other man sighs, looking at the redhead over the roof of the car. Will’s brows are furrowed and brown eyes are looking at him expectantly, his face a mix of confusion and… Is that hope? Connor knows how hope usually looks like, he has seen countless times on the faces of many of his patients, but Will is another thing entirely. It’s not the redhead’s life in his hands - and the thought alone makes Rhode’s knees buckle, because thank God for that. Will is his colleague and friend altogether and Connor is too scared of screw things over.

So Connor gathers all of his resolve and downs the professional mask of the doctor that has to tell a loved one that the surgery didn’t work, that he couldn’t save someone’s life, that there was nothing that he can do. “Just… Drop it, okay? G’night, Will.”

Of course this was never going to fly with Will. What they say about gingers and their temper is absolutely right because Connor barely opens the car door before it slams shut again, Halstead easily covering the distance with his fucking long legs. He doesn’t seem just confused now, but angry and hurt and pissed off.

“You don’t get to do that to me, Connor. Not you, of all people!” Will is not shouting, but he _ is _ upset. That doesn’t mean that Connor knows why he’s so unsettled.

“What are you talking about?” Rhodes blinks twice, a little confused.

Will grunts and turns back to him, stepping away slightly and rubbing his head with both hands, Kol’s leash still in his right hand. The dog seems to sense Will’s distress and brushes his snout on his legs, whining softly. This makes the man stop, look up and sigh. He speaks, but not once looks at Connor.

“You can’t turn your back on me, Connor. Please, not you too,” Will whispers brokenly, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. Two beats later, the man seems to gather his bearings, head down. “Sorry, is not fair to y-”

Connor shuts him up with a kiss. This move wasn’t planned at all. If it were up to him, he would still be rooted to the spot, but something else moves his body. Before Connor realises it, he has lessened the divide between him and Will, spun the man around by his shoulder and pulled him down to kiss him. It was messy, almost off the target, but it gets the point across, because the redhead gasps with surprise and stays quiet.

When Connor steps back and opens his eyes, Will is watching him with a guarded expression. He licks his lips lightly - making Rhodes crazy with desire for another proper kiss - and clears his throat.

“Why?” It’s barely a whisper and Connor would’ve missed if he wasn’t paying such close attention to the redhead’s lips.

Well, at least Will didn’t bolted or punched him right from the start, so that may be a good sign. Either way, Connor is not sure if he should tell the man about his feelings after everything that the redhead went through. Not to mention that Will was in love with Natalie for _ years _, it’s not something that people forget overnight or over a few weeks. But turning back and leaving was clearly not an option considering how Will reacted the last time. So Connor tries to back down without actually turning away.

“Can’t we just leave it alone?” He rubs the back of his head.

Will just breathes. “No.”

And he loops his arms around the shorter man’s hips, Kol helping by entwining his leash on his legs too. Connor gulps, can’t help but be mesmerized by warm brown eyes, but he just… Can’t. Will is so remotely out of his league and he just can’t. And what the redhead is doing is so unfair that a lump forms in his throat.

“Will, please, don’t…” He grates, turning his head so he doesn’t look, doesn’t crave, doesn’t ache for it.

“Then…” Will pulls him a little closer, chest to chest now. “How long?”

Even if it’s an easy question, the answer is not much easier than the last one. Still, Connor closes his eyes and whispers. “That day, in the elevator, when you’re about to throw your licence away for Jennifer Baker.”

Will hums, making Connor feel the vibrations in his chest. The chaste kiss to his temple surprises and confuses him.

“What are you doing?” Now is Connor’s time to ask.

The other man smiles before answering. “Something Kol taught me,” It’s a whisper, like the lesson itself is a secret. “Displays of affection to people that actually care about me.”

Connor should be happy for it and, despite his chest feeling warm - not only because of Will’s body heat -, he’s not really pleased. Rhodes tries to push Will away gently and he can tell the redhead is a little confused by his action.

“I think you have more to learn from him,” Connor tries to step back and almost topples over, because Kol is right behind him, leash entangled on his legs. He curses, but Will steadies him with both hands on his elbows. And he ends up in the redhead’s arms again.

Will blinks twice at him, big brown eyes confused. “What do you mean?”

Rhodes tries to muster some anger at Will, but it’s more hurt than anything else at this point. He’s almost feeling humiliated.

“You don’t have to pity me, Halstead. Just… Let’s forget about tonight, okay?” He tries to disentangle himself again without stepping in Kol, but the dog doesn’t bulge.

It’s Will’s quiet voice that makes him stop. “Jay told me what you did to find me. When Burke kidnapped me on the day of my wedding. You lost your patient for that.”

It was never a question about his patient or Will’s wellbeing, and this scares him, how far Connor was willing to go for Will sometimes. And to think that it all started with him willing to trap Halstead inside the elevator for hours until the asshole took his head out of his… Well, ass. However, Will shouldn’t know about Sean. Connor didn’t want the redhead to blame himself about it and, looking at the man’s brown eyes, he can see that he feels guilty about it, but there’s something else too. There’s appreciation too.

“You saved me,” Will continues, hands skimming from Connor’s elbows to his shoulders to wrap him in a hug. “_ That _ also makes you put things in perspective,” He mumbles against Connor’s temple.

And despite his best efforts to not cave, Rhodes feels what little fight left in him draining. “Please, Will, don’t… Don’t do that to me,” He wants to hug back, to bury his face on the redhead’s neck and to take what the other man was so blatantly offering, but he just can’t. Not when it was his heart on the line. “I won’t be Manning’s substitute,” He grates through clenched teeth and saying that out loud makes his resolve a little stronger.

The sound that Will makes is something between a huff and a gasp - which is weird, considering the physics behind it - and he pushes Connor slightly to look him in the eye. “What makes you think that?”

Connor almost laughs at that because really? Will _ really _ has to ask that? “You fucking with me? I’ve been watching you looking at Natalie with heart eyes for _ years _ , Will. And you decide that, what, you feel _ something _ for me _ now _? You really expect me to believe this?” And there’s the anger that Connor was looking for. But he can’t stay mad that long, especially when Will looks like a kicked puppy.

“I’m sorry…” He finally lets him go, dropping the leash so Connor can step out of it, even if Kol is not remotely willing to get up from behind his feet. “It’s not… I’m…” He closes his eyes to gather his bearings before stepping away. After a deep breath, he let it all out. “A sick and twisted part of me is glad for the kidnapping. Marrying Natalie would be a mistake, I just… I didn’t realise it sooner. I guess I just got used to the idea of having Natalie as my significant other because I thought it worked. Everyone kept telling me it worked and I just… I don’t know, I just believe them. I believe that _ I _ could make it work, that I could make her just as happy as I thought she made me,” He shrugs, ashamed. “After some time, I guess I just got used to the idea, but…” He huffs and runs his hands through his ginger hair yet again. “There were so many things that _ didn’t _ worked between us. The kidnapping and the Witness Protection didn’t help either, but long before that things were… Rocky, to say the least,” Now that he geared up, Will doesn’t appear to be able to stop his ranting. “I should’ve seen it sooner, she was never really invested in the wedding and everytime our opinions clashed at work she would get pissed and I was really a big fucking moron for not noticing it sooner and…” Will is almost pulling his hair out now, babbling and trying to explain and not hate himself in the process.

Connor can’t take this anymore, but before he can stop Will once more, the redhead spins around and looks at him with wide and frantic eyes. “And then I realised that _ you _ were always there. Even if it meant trapping me in an elevator. You’re always there for me,” Will swallows the lump in his throat, gesturing to Kol. “You and Kol were _ revelations _ to me. And I’m sorry I never realise it sooner, I just… If I did, then none of this would’ve happened and I didn’t-I don’t think I would ever be able to open my eyes if it weren’t for Kol and I’m sorry if this looks that you’re her substitute, but you’re not, _ you’re not _ , okay? I want you to-no, I _ need _ you to no that, I wouldn’t do that to you, Connor, never!”

Okay, now Will is panicking and bordering on hyperventilating, so Connor eats the distance between them with two long steps to embrace him in a tight hug, sushing Will and rubbing his back gently.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, I know you wouldn’t,” It’s quiet, just a whisper of words against Halstead’s head. Will just buries his face deeper in his neck, trying to match his breathing to Connor’s and it takes almost a minute to do that. When Will seems calm, Connor sighs relieved, lowering his face to plant a small kiss on the ginger’s curls. “I told you before, you have a very good heart, Will.”

Something close to a whimper escapes the redhead’s lips and he just buries himself further, holding Connor like a lifeline. “Then why this is never enough?” The whisper has so much hurt underneath that his heart breaks a little.

“What do you mean?” He prompts, still rubbing Will’s back.

He huffs. “I know my track record is not stellar and that I fucked up plenty of times, but I really _ really _ like you,” Will squeezes him once more, as if wanting to keep this moment forever. When Connor makes a move to separate them, Will squeezes him again. “I won’t be able to do that again, so… Can I-Just a little longer?” It’s the pleading tone that completely shatters Connor.

“Will, look at me, please,” Connor asks quietly, but Will doesn’t bulge. He sighs. “Are you sure about your feelings?”

It’s a hollow laugh that bubbles up Will’s throat. “Do you really think I’m not fucking terrified with the idea of having my heart broken _ once more _? Believe me, you’re not her replacement,” Connor thinks that Will didn’t mean to say the next part out loud, but he hears it anyway. “You’re so much better than that…”

The redhead chokes after that, stepping away quickly like Connor just burned him with his hug. “Fuck, _ fuck _, I-You deserve someone so much better. Fuck, you’re right, let’s just… Forget, yeah. C’mon, Kol. G’night, Connor,” Will turns back and walks quickly to the sidewalk.

“Will, wait!” But the redhead is not listening and despite the desire to go after him, Connor doesn’t move. He doesn’t have to. “Will, Kol is not following you.”

Will groans and tries to look back without actively looking at Connor. “C’mon, buddy. Let’s go home.”

The dog whimpers and lays down at Connor’s feet. The doctor chuckles and bends down to take his leash, making Kol rise and pulls him along, closer and closer to Will. The redhead is practically squirming in place, looking everywhere but Connor. The man offers the leash and Will mumbles a silent _ thanks _ in return. When Halstead takes the leash, Connor intertwines their fingers and pulls him closer, standing a little on his tiptoes to reach the taller man, other hand holding Will’s neck so he doesn’t pull back..

“I’m terrified too, but if anything, I want to show you that you’re worth it. Because you’re _ deserving _, Will,” They’re just a breath away now and it seems that they came back where they started, because the redhead is rooted to the spot once more.

But this time is Will that takes the initiative, leaning down and kissing Connor hard and deep and desperate, making the shorter man whimper on the back of his throat. There’s the slightest hint of tongue, Will’s hands circling his hips again and pulling him so close that it seems the redhead wants to merge them together. Connor glides his hand from Will’s neck to his cheeks, thumb caressing the scruffy cheekbone tenderly, slowing the kiss down until is chaste and sweet.

When they finally part, Will rests his forehead against Connor’s without opening his eyes. “I have a lot of faults,” He blurts out quietly, still so insecure.

However, this only makes Connor smile. “Oh, believe me, I know.” He jokes, without stopping the light strokes of his thumb on Will’s face. “Let’s start with stubborn, hmm?”

Halstead huffs a little laugh at that. “Like you’re one to talk, you control freak.” Connor laughs at that and Will’s smile widens.

“Asshole,” Rhodes tilts the taller man’s face down to peck him on the smiling lips.

Said smile dims a little. “I’m a little scared and worried about all of this…”

Connor nods. “I know. We’re going to fight and bicker and be at each other’s throats all the time, probably,” He concedes and when Connor sees panic rising in Will’s eyes, he’s quick to squash it with another quick and dirty kiss. “But at the end of the day I’m going to have your back no matter what, Will. _ Never _ doubt that. Besides…” Connor takes a half step back. “We’re _ both _ invested in making this work, right?”

Will smiles warmly at that, nodding and pulling their entwined hands - with Kol’s leash - to his lips to kiss it. “We can make this work,” There’s assurance and confidence in his voice, making Connor’s heart flutter.

“Yeah… Yeah, we can.”

Will has come a long way already and Connor is sure to help him with the rest of it. The redhead is full of self loathing and anger, but Kol helped him a lot showing him how true love and loyalty look like. Connor only hopes to show the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Please, comments and kudos are love and they make writers very, very happy. <3


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